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Not too long ago my husband asked me, “what can I do?” I had shared some thoughts I was having with him. He wanted to know how to support me in this area of life.
How would I address his question, “what can I do?” He wanted to know something he could do. He needed something concrete to put into action. He was asking for something more than “be there for me”. A better suggestion than “don’t you see what I see” was what he was looking to get. More than “get here in my head space with me” would be needed to answer his question.
Men are concrete thinkers. They like visual, step-by-step guidance. I had not premeditated the timing of what I was sharing with him. The situation seemed appropriate to voice my thoughts, so I did. Certainly, I had not preplanned my expectation of how I wanted him to support me. I had not even considered he would question me in that manner. When he asked, “what can I do?”
He wanted to know “what can I do”? I wanted to answer his question in a way that would meet my needs and give him clear guidance of something specific he could do.
I gave him these three ways he could support me.
- He could trust me.
- He could let me know if he ever felt like I was deceiving him.
- He could acknowledge me.
We reviewed what I meant by each of these things.
- He could be confident I was making the best decisions under God’s authority, with him and our family in mind.
- He could let me know if he ever felt like I was deceiving him. He would tell me if he ever felt like he was getting the short end of the stick.
- He could approve of me.
He agreed to support me in these three ways.
How about you? Is there something you want your husband to support you in? Is there something you desire to do, a thought you have, or a goal you desire to achieve? When you share it with your spouse and he asks, “what can I do?” Share these three things with him.
- Trust me.
- Tell me if you feel deceived.
- Think highly of me.
When you “catch” your spouse doing any of these three things, let him know how much you appreciate him supporting you. Tell him you are thankful he trusts you and thinks highly of you. Notice and point out the things your spouse does to support you. Doing this will encourage him because you found him supporting you. Then, you both are encouraged.
For further study on the source of these three ways your spouse can support you read Proverbs 31:11, 28-29.
Written By: Anne Gurley
Do you feel “dazed” in your relationship with God? Is your devotion and passion for God lacking? Would you describe your relationship with God dull, without life, unenthusiastic, half-hearted?
You may read the Bible, pray, and go to church as faithfully as ever; but you have no passion. You are going through the motions, doing the things, but not living the hope-filled life you believe God ordains for you.
God knew you would be in this position. He doesn’t want you to be half-hearted, unenthusiastic, or dull. Matter of fact, He’s the one who is bringing your attention to how you are feeling and thinking. You can count it as a blessing to be made aware of this sluggishness in your relationship with Him. Consider it a kindness from God to bring to your understanding the distractions you are experiencing.
Have you thought to yourself recently, why am I so discontent? Why do I lack fulfillment? Do you look around and think to yourself any of the following: I have everything I need. I am rich with health, family, ____________ (you fill in the blank). Do you work daily on how to increase some earthly feature in your life or a human character trait? Are the goals in your planner and the gratitude journal entries centered on things that will all perish with the using?
If you answered “yes”; you are in good hands. God has gotten your attention. Look intently in His eyes, His heart, and His longing for you. Jesus, the one who writes your story, determines your eternity, and puts the period at the end of the sentence; advises you to do three things.
BUY FROM JESUS GOLD REFINED BY FIRE – BECOME RICH
Jesus told the parable of a rich person who had a lot of earthly valuables. He was in need of nothing. Indeed, he was planning an expansion project to store all the things he had gathered and was in the process of hoarding. Yet, God determined he was in poverty before Him. He had no knowledge of God. He had no concern with how God evaluated Him. He stored up his treasure and thought to himself he was rich. In the end, the story concluded that he was miserable, destitute, and should have spent his time becoming rich toward God.
Take Jesus’ advise, burn in your heart with passion for God, get His value in your heart, and treasure Him more than any earthly things with which you seek to fill yourself.
BUY FROM JESUS WHITE GARMENTS – BECOME CLOTHED
God wants to make a deal with you. He wants to exchange your nakedness for His righteousness. It makes “good sense” to God for you to be white. He provides the means by which you can be clothed in His garment of righteousness. Though your coverings are red like scarlet, He gives opportunity for them to be white as snow.
It is the shed blood of the spotless son of God on the cross that takes away your sin. Without the shedding of blood there is no remission of sin. It is sin that makes you filthy before God. Adam and Eve in the garden knew they were naked because of their sin. God declares you can come to Him, make the great exchange, and receive from Him purity.
Throw away the old affections to sin, closeness with the world, and be focused in your attention to be looking like Jesus in all your thoughts, words, and actions. Clothe yourself with the Lord Jesus Christ and do not give any opportunity to satisfy your own desires.
BUY FROM JESUS EYE SALVE – BECOME SEEING
The man who was born blind was healed to display the glory of God. Jesus made mud, a form of eye salve. He placed it on the man’s eyes, told him to go wash, and the man obeyed. The man exchanged his blindness for the “mud” of Jesus, washed, and saw Jesus was indeed the light of the world.
You must be willing to take upon yourself what seems to be “mud” to this world, but after you are cleansed, you see clearly. May the light of the knowledge of God apply His eye salve to open the eyes of your understanding so that you may fully see the great invitation God has given you. Go possess for yourself the great abundance of God once you’ve allowed His application of salve, wash at His direction, and return seeing Him in His great glory.
BECOME RICH – BECOME CLOTHED – BECOME SEEING
These are the three actions Jesus advised you to take when you feel a little lethargic or slack in your passion for God. The word become means to change or to grow. The more you become rich toward God, clothed in His righteousness, and seeing Him as the light of the world; the better you will assess yourself as God determines you to really be. Then, you will run more boldly and passionately to the only one who receives you just as you are. You will intently desire to share His riches, wear His garments, and have nothing that distorts your view of His glory. Your “becoming” has only just begun to burn warmly.
Take Jesus’ advice with these three action opportunities. Enliven your becoming. Meditate on Revelation 3:14-22 for more encouragement.
Written By: Anne Gurley
Hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.Proverbs 1:8
Teach your child to “hear” the instruction of the father, the leader/”in charge one”. To hear means to be attentive, gather around, consent, consider.
When a child learns to “hear” the instruction of the leader in their home, they will have an easier time hearing others. When they enter the school house, the work force, or any area of their life; their ears will be able to attend to instruction because it has been trained to “hear”.
A father can best teach a child to hear by:
- Minimizing distractions while instructing a child (distractions for father and child).
- Creating eye to eye contact opportunities with the child.
- Having the child repeat the instruction.
- Discourage arguing by clearly explaining the benefit of adhering to the instruction.
- Give opportunity for the child to ask questions and receive clarification.
Teach your child to “forsake not” the law of the mother/the one who meets the most essential needs. To forsake not means to cast off, let fall, leave off, loose,.
A child’s needs will always be cared for when he/she follows the rule of order of the one who is providing the care. As a child holds close the decisions and requirements of the mother in the home, the child will have their needs met. Teaching a child to not leave off the things they are mandated to perform in the home will strengthen their character for the rest of their life.
A mother can best teach a child to “forsake not” by:
- Explaining to the child why it is necessary to do things the way it’s been established for them to be done.
- Be consistent with the conduct required for the child.
- Check the child clearly understands what is expected in their thoughts, words, and actions.
- Discuss consequences of not abiding by the rules that have been set.
Parenting is a difficult task and steadily becoming even more stressful. I encourage you to implement these two beneficial things in what you teach to your child. I believe you will see transformation in your home as you focus on the “heart” needed to accept the rules and adhere to the instructions. When you teach your children to “hear” and “forsake not”, you are teaching them for their life . . . not just to get through today.
Written By: Anne Gurley
Are you distracted with things you care about? Does your worry cause for you . . .
Inability to Focus
- Your thoughts easily wander away from the task in front of you.
- You lack ability to be decisive in the choices you make.
Lack of Motivation
- You feel stuck, and unable to move forward.
- Your thoughts of inadequacy in life block your progress.
- You are paralyzed from making a decision because of your racing thoughts.
- You have an unsettled state of being.
You’re not alone
60 percent of U.S. adults are feeling daily stress and worry
What the world says helps . . .
- Staying connected with friends and family through phone calls, emails, video chats and the like.
- Getting some exercise and being outdoors if possible.
- Taking steps to stay relaxed, such as through yoga, meditation or deep-breathing exercises.
. . . according to the Washington Post.
Jesus said this about peace (John 14:27) . . .
Peace I leave
Peace of mind, a wholeness with no distraction I send to you.
My peace I give
My quietness and rest, free-dom from anxiety I present to you.
Not as the world gives
The peace I give is not as the inhabitants of the world gives to you.
because of this . . .Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Jesus’ Command . . .
Let your thoughts be focused – Find a focal point for your thoughts. Let the way you make decisions be pre-determined so there’s no doubt of what you must do.
Move forward with certainty – Be clear about what you must do, set out to do it, and don’t look in any other direction.
Be in a state of calm – Practice thought patterns and attitudes that are slow, mild, unharsh, and soothing.
RECOMMENDED THOUGHTS, WORDS, AND ACTIONS . . .
Untroubledness – calm, contentment, delight, health, order, peace, pleasure, tranquility
Unfearfulness – bold, brave, collected, confident, courageous, pleasant
Worry free living is possible because of (John 14:26) . . . Jesus left you, gave you, and God provided for you the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is your Helper, close companion who comes along side you to help you navigate all of life. – AND – Provides guidance by helping you remember the teaching in the Word of God and knowing what is meant in the Word of God.
PRACTICAL HELP TO LIVE WORRY FREE – Philippians 4:4-7
What happens when you practice worry free living?
- You are not distracted by your cares.
- You are choosing to focus on God rather than your cares.
- You replace your need to “fix” things with a request for God to work all things out for you.
- Your thoughts are no longer distorted and distracted instead they are grateful to God
know God is with you
pray and ask
YOU HAVE THE PEACE OF GOD THAT
Surpasses all comprehension – Beyond what seems reasonable or expected, in thought, feeling, or behavior.
Guards your heart – Puts up a defense around the affective center of your being, what you desire, and your emotions.
Guards your mind – Actively protects your thoughts and who you are – watching in advance for harmful and hurtful things.
Which would you choose?
Talking with Family/Friends
. . .which runs out . . .wears out . . . is unavailable at times — OR —
The Peace of God – your constant Helper, Companion, and Guide?
PRACTICE THE 5 WAYS TO EXPERIENCE THE PEACE OF GOD
KNOW GOD IS NEAR
PRAY & ASK
The Peace of God is greater far than the peace the world gives.
Written By: Anne Gurley