Is it really possible to make your husband cherish you? Are you in a relationship right now where you feel unappreciated and thrown away? It is possible to turn his head toward you. I submit that it is possible. It is doable . . .and the turn around can begin right now.
Your husband is not perfect. He is broken, fallen, and messed up. He is not cherishing you in a way you’d prefer because he’s got insufficiencies. You may question what you ever saw in that man to cause you to say “I DO” at the ceremony that joined you as husband and wife.
You may have tried everything before and nothing worked. You may be wondering if the door is your next breakthrough. You just can’t do it any longer. If you’re breathing, there is hope. Let the Cherishing Begin!
Cherishing doesn’t begin with your husband, it begins with you.
There are three styles you can put on that will make your husband honor you. Three specific things you can display that will make him admire you, want you, and value you.
Your husband will begin seeing you as the capable, intelligent woman you are by putting on these three trends.
Style One: Trustworthiness
You may say, I can’t trust him; why should I be transparent before him? You may say, I have been as truthful as I know to be to him and he still treats me like trash.
Trustworthiness means deserving of trust. Let me ask you, in the past month has there been any way you have deceived your husband. Like that piece of your favorite dessert you hid in the crock pot so he wouldn’t find it and ate it when he wasn’t near by. Maybe it was the extra something you bought for yourself or the house or the kids and you glossed over the expense in the monthly report rather than being up-front about it. You may have told your husband you’d be on time for the event and waited until the last minute to get ready, only to be 3 minutes late. “It was only 3 minutes. It wasn’t like it was that late and people got there after us” you told yourself as you walked in late with no heart-felt apology to your husband because you hadn’t done what you’d agreed to do.
A wise woman told me one time, “say what you mean and mean what you say.” That is a learned skill. That displays trustworthiness. When you are styling some trustworthiness you will display character, attitude, behavior, and words that will make your husband be confident in you. Then he will cherish you.
Style Two: Premium
Premium is a prize, bonus or reward. Enable him to hold you dear with the “perks” you give him for being in a relationship with you. You may say, I have nothing to give. I’m spent. I’m beyond broke in this relationship. Let me say, begin with what he gives to you. If he gives you respect, give that same respect back to him plus add just a bit more. Everything positive he gives you, give it back to him plus a smidgen more. As you do this, you will find he gives more and you give more over time.
There will be times in any relationship, the exchange has some negative attire. If that is the case, give him as much positive as you have. There will be times you have nothing to give. Give yourself permission to remain quiet in those times and as still as possible. However, as much as possible, make up for his negatives with your prize, bonus, and reward. Show him you are premium. The more you practice this style, the better it will wear and the greater the premium you’ll add to your husband. This will open his eyes to see the benefit you provide to him. Then he will adore you.
Style Three: Goody Two Shoes
Your style would not be complete without the perfect shoes. Your feet take you where you go. Be a “good” doer everywhere you go, especially around your husband. Jesus had a listener one day call him “Good Teacher” Jesus questioned the man why he had called him “good” because only “God is good”. (Luke 18:18-19) Jesus made “good” equivalent with God. So as we act good, we act godly.
Galatians 5:22-23 lists some good you could do wherever you go. These are things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Walking like this wherever you go will never get you in trouble with the law, or your husband. But, your feet will really hurt if you try to display these shoes all on your own. Unless you have the Spirit of God working these “goody two shoes” for you, there’s little progress. John 15 explains that as you remain in God’s Word and it grows in you, that is how you get these stylish shoes broken in. You can go places with shoes that fit good. Then as you walk good and godly in all your paths around your husband, he will treasure everywhere you go.
Will you put on these three styles before your husband, in the presence of your husband, wherever you are, and no matter how your husband is behaving? Begin today. Take an hour and try these three styles on. Maybe tomorrow put them on for 80 minutes. The third day another 90 minutes. Increase the time day by day. Get used to these new styles, walking in these shoes.
In a few days, weeks, and months from now, you’ll look back and say “What a man I have! He cherishes me so good!” — and the rest of the story is that is how he is supposed to cherish you “so good” — like God — “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” (Ephesians 5:25)
Study Proverbs 31:10-12 for more encouragement in these thoughts.
Written By: Anne Gurley